8th July. Pak Pak.

 Daddy.

I haven’t wrote to you in a while. I miss you. I miss you very much. 

 

This morning I woke up to a message from Ah Keong Koko. 

 

Pak Pak is diagnosed with prostate cancer… He has been in and out of hospital. He doesn’t understand what’s happening to him and is losing fragments of his memory.

 

Just over a month ago, we were celebrating Pak Pak’s birthday. I looked at him and I see your face. He looked happy. Everyone was around. All the family were together. All of us. 

 

The reality of life is hitting me hard today. I realize that in the end, all of us fade away with time.

 

I am doing good with my career. I am okay. I have found a girl whom I am very in love with. She brings me new light in this very painful season of life. I want to be with her. 

 

I am in a new ship now. I wished I could bring you here with me. I am planning to bring Mummy and Koko family to come onboard. 

The other day we were in a mall choosing clothes to buy for the kids. The little boy saw a red shirt with a rocket on it. He immediately chose it and said he wanted it. I believed he wanted it because it reminded him of you. In his little mind, he understood that you left in a rocket to go into space. He talks to you before he sleeps. He stands infront of your photo outside our room and he would talk to you before going to bed. Mummy told me once that he said something like this, “Yeh Yeh, I wish you are here so you can repair my toys.”

 

I miss you, Daddy. 

 

Take care of Pak Pak if you can. Give him comfort and peace. 

 

I love you.

 

Thank you for watching over us.