Is This How It Feels? Depression.

My eyes, they stare into the distant.

My thoughts, piercing through concrete.

I feel nothing except the awful feeling of wanting to escape.

My thoughts, they are chasing me. I run. But yet they still come after me.

I want to escape. I want to numb my feelings with distraction.

Feelings of anguish and shame.

But I can't do anything. I don't want to do anything.

Movies and music used to be my comfort. 

But I do not want them anymore.

Where music once moved me, it now paralyses me.

I sit and I stare into nothingness. I walk aimlessly. 

I become restless. I lie on the bed. I sit on the chair.

I lie on the floor and I lean on the wall. 

I sleepwalk through my days and refuse to sleep at night.

But yet I long for the short death of sleep.

For when sleep brings me away, my thoughts go silent.

At least for a little while.

I wake and I regret waking up.

I want to sleep again. 

I can't smile. I can't... feel. 

No excitement. No sadness. 

No thrills. No regret.

Only emptiness. 

I feel a void.

Never been in this cave before. 

So is this how it feels?

Depression.